he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
and she was petting her beer can
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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