How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
how does that bad decision feel?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
