Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
