PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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