We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
