Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
