Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
