You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
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I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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