just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
