I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
