I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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