yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
