I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
