Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
