I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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