no. you can't hotbox the world.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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