you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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