There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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