Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
