So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
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Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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