So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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