We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
