If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
