I think I died a long time ago.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
