The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Your dad touched me again.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
