wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
