i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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