Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
