Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
