that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
how does that bad decision feel?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
