yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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