Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
