the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
