Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize