I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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