Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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