I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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