I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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