Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize