# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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