brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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