I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
