it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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