Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
