so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
