Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
