just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
