I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
