you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
