The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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