u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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