I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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