You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
