So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
