The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize
