so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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