Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They have beer where we have blood.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
