I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm getting married
To pizza
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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