Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
